Accepting Compliments: Empowering Through Gratitude

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Gratitude as a strength: the magic of accepting compliments

Discover how embracing praise can make a positive impact on your mental health. Learn to accept compliments and boost your self-esteem. 

Let’s play a quick game

  1. You’re out at a party and the host says “You look stunning!”

You respond with:

       A. “Oh! You must be going blind”

       B. Stop it…”

       C. “Thank you.”

 

       2. You meet your first boss and she says “You’re doing brilliantly! You’ve come a long way.”

You say:

      A. “Everyone says I’m born under a lucky star”

      B. “I have still so much to do”

      C. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. Thank you.”

 

      3. You wow everyone with a presentation at work and a colleague comments, “That was incredibly insightful! You really know your stuff.” 

You reply with:

A. “Oh, I just threw some slides together last minute.”

B. “I guess I got lucky this time.”

C. “Thanks so much! I’m glad you found it helpful.”

 

If you’ve chosen option c in all three scenarios above, congratulations! You are doing brilliantly! But most often, we women are so self-critical that accepting a compliment with grace can be surprisingly challenging. 

This seemingly small act, saying those two simple words “thank you” holds immense power, capable of transforming our mental health and boosting our self-esteem. Yet, so many of us struggle to get those words out. Instead, we opt to deflect or downplay the praise we receive. 

It’s time to explore why embracing compliments is essential for our well-being and how it can help build stronger self-acceptance and mental resilience. 

 

Why compliments feel good but can be hard to accept

Receiving a compliment can make us feel great for the whole day.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Yet, acknowledging that compliment, accepting it with a simple “thank you’? That often feels as tough as solving a maths problem. And that’s because a lot is going on behind the scenes when someone says nice about you. 

Hearing good things about yourself should make you feel amazing. The warm, fuzzy feeling is partly due to your brain releasing a happy chemical called dopamine. This not only makes you feel great but also nudges you to keep doing whatever you do to earn that praise. 

But here’s the twist: Even though compliments are like mini cheerleaders for your self-esteem, you probably deflect them for the most part. Why? A lot has to do with how you’re raised and the mixed messages you get from all around. Societal norms dictate the need to be modest, not too proud, and always strive for more. So, when someone sends a compliment your way, it can feel like you’re suddenly put in the spotlight, and your first instinct is to step out of it.

But here’s a helpful tip – think of compliments as tiny gifts of words. They’re meant to be opened and enjoyed, not pushed away. They give you a peek at how others see you, shining a light on the good stuff you might not even notice about yourself. And isn’t it a joy to discover something positive you didn’t realise you had?

But, getting to the point where you can happily accept these word gifts takes a bit of practice. It’s about retraining your brain to understand that it’s okay to feel good about yourself and to see your own worth through others’ eyes.

You need to get comfortable with letting those positive vibes in and letting them lift you up. It’s simpler than it sounds, and with a little bit of practice, you can definitely get there.

 

Learning to accept the applause

In the words of author, Steve Goodier, “Sincere compliments cost nothing and can accomplish so much. In ANY relationship they are the applause that refreshes.” 

It’s one thing to understand that compliments are like secret boosts for your self-esteem. It’s also easy to acknowledge that accepting them can sometimes feel like trying to hug a cactus. But how do you get from awkwardly sidestepping praise to fully embracing it? It boils down to changing your mindset and practising until it feels natural.

It’s not bragging, it’s believing:

First up, let’s tackle the big myth: Accepting a compliment doesn’t mean you’re full of yourself. It means you’re starting to believe in your own worth, and that’s always a good thing. When someone says you did a great job, they’re not expecting you to disagree. They’re giving you a verbal high-five. Would you leave a high-five hanging? Probably not. So, why leave a compliment hanging in the air?

Practice makes perfect:

Like any skill, accepting compliments takes practice. Start by resisting the natural urge to downplay or deflect. The next time someone compliments you, try responding with a simple “Thank you.” That’s it. No “but” or “it was nothing” attached. Just “Thank you.” It might feel weird at first, but keep at it. Over time, it’ll start feeling more natural, and you’ll begin to see yourself in the positive light others see you.

Turn the compliment into a conversation:

If “Thank you” feels too short or inadequate, and you’re itching to say more, use the compliment as a springboard for a conversation. For example, if someone praises your presentation skills, you could say, “Thank you! I’ve been really working on them. Is there anything you think I could do even better next time?” This way, you’re accepting the compliment while staying engaged and open to growth.

Reflect on the praise:

After receiving a compliment, take a moment to reflect on it. Instead of brushing it off, think about what was said and how it makes you feel. This reflection can help reinforce your positive qualities in your own mind and gradually build your self-esteem.

Spread the love:

Getting comfortable with receiving compliments often makes you better at giving them too. When you start noticing the good in yourself, you’ll also start seeing it in others. Sharing genuine compliments can create a positive feedback loop, where everyone around you feels appreciated and valued.

Remember, you deserve it: 

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you deserve the compliments you receive. They’re not flukes or mistakes. They’re reflections of your hard work, talent, and the impact you have on others. Embracing them is not just about feeling good in the moment; it’s about building a foundation of self-worth that can carry you through challenges and successes alike.

 

Embracing compliments: a step towards loving yourself

Accepting compliments gracefully isn’t only about navigating social situations with elegance; it’s an act of self-love and affirmation. It’s a declaration that you see your worth and are ready to embrace the love and respect others offer you.

Beyond the ‘thank you’:

Understanding and practising the art of accepting compliments lays the groundwork for a healthier, more positive relationship with yourself. Each “thank you” you utter is a step away from self-doubt and toward self-assurance. But the journey doesn’t stop at simply accepting kind words; you need to internalise them – letting them take root in yourself, and allowing them to grow into a sturdy, unwavering self-esteem.

The mirror of reflection: 

Think of each compliment as a mirror, reflecting back at you the qualities and strengths you possess. This mirror doesn’t lie; it simply shows you what others see – the best parts of you. Allow yourself the grace to believe in this reflection, to accept it as your truth. It’s in this belief that the true transformation begins, transforming not just how you see yourself, but how you navigate the world around you.

A ripple effect:

When you start to accept compliments with grace and gratitude, you don’t just change yourself; you also change how others interact with you. Your acceptance encourages more open and positive interactions, creating a ripple effect of goodwill and appreciation. This isn’t just about making yourself feel good; it’s about encouraging an environment where kindness, appreciation, and positive reinforcement thrive.

Final words of envouragement:

Accepting a compliment, even with “thank you” is more than about being polite – it’s a powerful affirmation of your worth. Each compliment you receive is a gift, an offering of respect and admiration. Embrace it. Cherish it. Let it remind you of your value, especially in moments of doubt.

If you find yourself struggling to accept compliments, don’t be discouraged. Like any skill, it takes practice. Start small, remind yourself of your worth, and remember that it’s okay to feel proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished. You are deserving of praise, not for perfection, but for the effort, the passion, and the uniqueness you bring into this world.

 

In closing 

Your journey through this exploration of compliments is much more than about learning to say “thank you.” It’s about recognising your value, allowing yourself to be seen, and, most importantly, seeing yourself through a lens of kindness and appreciation. 

As you step out into the world, carry with you the knowledge that you are worthy of every kind word, every note of praise, and every accolade that comes your way.

May you walk forward with your head held high, your heart open, and your ears ready to accept the beautiful truths others see in you. Remember, each step you take in accepting compliments is a step towards embracing your true self – flaws and all – with love and pride.

 

If you would like to chat further about how you can empower yourself and others through gratitude, book in a free 30-minute consultation here.

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Understanding Psychosocial Hazards: What Australian Businesses Need to Know

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Beyond Physical Safety: Addressing Psychosocial Risks for a Thriving Workplace

The conversation around workplace safety has gone beyond tangible, physical risks to include mental and emotional health and well-being. We’ve recently been faced with the term ‘psychosocial hazards’ – a concept gaining ground, not just in occupational health discussions, but also in boardroom agendas across Australia. 

While traditional safety measures focus on preventing physical injuries, psychosocial hazards highlight the more subtle, yet equally detrimental, aspects of work life that can affect an individual’s health and wellbeing. 

They include a blend of both psychological and social elements in the workplace, extending from job design and work management to social interactions among colleagues. 

While these hazards might not always manifest as visible injuries, they can lead to significant stress, mental health issues and decreased productivity. And that’s crucial for businesses to understand. 

With a focus on this topic, we aim to shine a spotlight on these ‘silent stressors’, making a case for their recognition, understanding and proactive management in the workplace. 

Unpacking Psychosocial Hazards: The Categories Simplified

When we talk about workplace dangers, images of heavy machinery, electric risks, or physical strain might come to mind. However, psychosocial hazards, although less visible, can be just as harmful. 

They’re deeply intertwined with the way work is designed and managed and the interpersonal relationships within the workplace. 

To help businesses better understand these hazards, we’ve simplified them into three broader categories: 

1. Work Design and Management 

This category focuses on the tasks at hand, how they’re structured and the autonomy an employee has.

Job Demands: A balanced workload is essential for the well-being of employees. Extremes, whether too much work or too little of it, pose risks. For instance, an employee might face excessive demands during peak business seasons and then have minimal tasks during slower periods.

 An OECD study reported that on average about 13% of Australian employees work over 50 hours weekly, risking stress and fatigue. Conversely, too little work  can lead to disengagement or feelings of insignificance.

Low Job Control: Job satisfaction often depends on the control employees have over tasks. Low job control means workers can’t decide how or when they work. It’s different from having set tasks or structured job responsibilities; it’s about constantly feeling restricted.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics revealed that 38% of employees didn’t have authority over their work, which can reduce job satisfaction. Recognising and rectifying this hazard is crucial for maintaining a motivated and engaged workforce.

Lack of Role Clarity: The certainty and understanding of one’s role within an organisation are critical to effective job performance. When employees are unsure about their job description, their responsibilities, or the expectations set for them, it leads to a lack of role clarity. This isn’t just about occasionally facing complex tasks; the issue becomes hazardous when the ambiguity is extreme, consistent, or recurrent.

Inadequate Reward and Recognition: Job satisfaction is a fine balance between an employee’s efforts and the recognition they receive. This can range from awards to simple verbal praise. Overlooking recognition can become problematic if it’s a regular or long-standing issue.

Consistent employee recognition can lead to significant improvements in the workplace. Doubling the number of recognitions each week, can improve work quality by 24%, reduce absenteeism by 27%, and decrease staff turnover by 10%.

Poor Organisational Change Management: Change is inherent to organisational growth. But how that change is managed determines its success and the impact on the company’s workforce and productivity. 

A staggering 70% of change initiatives fail, often due to employee pushback and weak management. Poor organisational change management includes transitions that are haphazardly planned, communicated, supported, or executed. It isn’t about a decision that isn’t well-received. Poor change management becomes a significant psychosocial hazard when it’s notably flawed, sustained, or a regular occurrence.

 

2. Social and Organisational Context

This category focuses on the social fabric of a workplace, which plays a pivotal role in employee wellbeing.

Poor Support: Every individual relies on support systems within the workplace. These systems constitute the backbone of daily operations and overall job satisfaction. ‘Poor support’ goes beyond the inconvenience of waiting for a colleague to wrap up a meeting. It’s the persistent and profound lack of assistance from peers, supervisors, or even the deficiency of resources required for efficient job performance.

When the lack of support becomes regular, acute, or sustained, it goes from being a mere inconvenience to a notable psychosocial hazard. The consequences are many – from declining morale to reduced productivity and increased turnover.

Poor Organisational Justice: ‘Organisational justice’ really boils down to fairness at work. It’s about how employees feel they’re treated by the company, its rules, and the bosses. It’s not just about small problems, like not getting the work shift you wanted. It’s about bigger issues where workers often feel ignored, unvalued or mistreated.

Recognising and addressing these issues of organisational justice is about cultivating a culture where every employee feels integral to the success of the organisation.

Conflict or Poor Relationships: Having a good working relationship with colleagues is key to a positive workplace. But sometimes, behaviours that hurt others creep in. These can range from:

  • Violence and Aggression: Physical or verbal acts that intimidate or harm.
  • Bullying: Repeated actions that make someone feel belittled or unsafe.
  • Harassment: This includes unwanted behaviours based on gender, race, age, ability, and other personal factors.
  • General Workplace Issues: Everyday conflicts or misunderstandings that spoil relationships and teamwork. 

It’s important to understand that we’re not talking about small, isolated incidents. It’s about serious behaviours that persistently disrupt the workplace and strain professional relationships.

Violence and Aggression: This refers to situations where an individual faces abuse, threats, or physical assaults while on the job. In addition to the immediate physical harm, the psychological impact can be long-lasting and severe, posing significant health and safety concerns.

Business owners must address and manage the risks associated with violence and aggression in the workplace. This responsibility extends not just to conflicts among employees but also involves interactions with external individuals, such as customers and clients. Ensuring a safe environment for all is paramount, and businesses must be proactive in mitigating these risks.

Bullying: Would it surprise you to know that almost half of all Australians will be bullied in some way? 

Workplace bullying is characterized by ongoing, unwarranted actions aimed at an individual or a group of workers. It’s not a simple disagreement or one-off incident; it’s a consistent pattern of behaviour that can deeply affect those on the receiving end. The consequences of bullying extend beyond emotional distress; it can also lead to tangible physical harm, elevating it to a critical health and safety concern.

Businesses are obligated to identify, address, and manage the threats associated with bullying in the workplace. Every employee has the right to a safe working environment, and businesses need to step up and ensure this protection.

Harassment (including Sexual Harassment): Harassment in the workplace, whether it’s based on gender, race, age, ability, or other personal factors, is a pressing concern. It creates an environment of fear, mistrust, and discomfort, affecting not only the targeted individuals but also those around them.

Workplace sexual harassment is particularly severe and unacceptable. It can manifest in various ways: some actions are blatant, while others might be more hidden or insidious. Whether it’s a repeated pattern or a single incident, the effects are profound. Such harassment traumatizes the direct victim and can also deeply affect those who witness it.

By addressing harassment head-on and fostering a culture of respect and safety, businesses not only comply with the law but also create a healthier, more productive work environment.

 

3. Work Environment and Conditions

This category focuses on the actual conditions and environments where work is performed. 

Remote or Isolated Work: Remote or isolated work refers to jobs where employees are separated from the help or company of others due to the location, timing, or the kind of task they’re performing. This type of work might involve extensive travel, limited resources, or sparse communication options. It poses unique challenges, demanding both workers and employers to adapt and ensure safety and efficiency.

Poor Physical Environment: A poor physical environment at work refers to situations where workers consistently face unpleasant, substandard, or even dangerous situations. This could be anything from poor lighting and ventilation to exposure to harmful substances. 

When such conditions are extreme, persistent, or a regular occurrence, they transform from mere annoyances into significant psychosocial hazards. Addressing these issues is crucial for the well-being and safety of employees and their overall productivity and morale. 

Traumatic Events or Material: Being exposed to traumatic events or material at work refers to facing situations or content that deeply distress or shock. Whether it’s witnessing an unsettling incident, investigating a harrowing case, or consistently being exposed to disturbing materials, such experiences can have profound psychological impacts on workers.

Recognising and addressing the risks associated with such traumatic exposures is crucial. It safeguards the mental well-being of employees, ensuring they can work effectively and healthily.

Understanding these categories helps businesses take a holistic approach to identifying potential problems. It’s the first step in ensuring a healthier, more supportive, and productive work environment.

Why Should Busineses Care?

At its core, a business thrives on the well-being and productivity of its employees. Addressing psychosocial hazards isn’t merely about ticking off compliance boxes. It’s a strategic move towards creating a thriving, positive work environment. 

When businesses prioritise the mental and physical health of their employees, they directly boost workplace morale. This proactive approach not only curbs absenteeism but also reduces staff turnover, saving on recruitment costs and preserving organisational knowledge. 

Moreover, in an age where reputation is everything, a company known for its commitment to employee well-being stands out. It attracts top talent and earns respect in the marketplace. In essence, by addressing these risks, businesses are investing in their most valuable asset – their people.

Taking the Next Steps

Identifying psychosocial hazards is just the beginning. The true challenge lies in continuous vigilance and responsive action. Businesses should engage in regular evaluations to create a workplace that is not only safe but one that thrives. 

These assessments should be tailored to the unique dynamics of each workplace. Coupled with this, fostering open communication channels is vital. Encouraging employees to voice concerns or share experiences can unearth potential issues before they escalate. This dialogue builds trust and emphasises the organisation’s commitment to its workforce. 

Lastly, having proactive measures in place – whether it’s training programs, mental health support, or clear policies – can pre-emptively address potential risks. By taking these steps, businesses are not just averting problems; they’re sculpting a culture of care and inclusivity.

If you would like to chat further about how you can ensure psychosocial safety  in your workplace, book in a free 30-minute consultation here.

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Strategies for Effective Team Communication: Why is it important?

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Staff retention is one of greatest challenges we face in business today. Ineffective communication is a primary cause of employee turnover. Developing clear lines of communication throughout a business will improve employee engagement, leading to an increase in overall productivity, retention, creativity, and more effective client and supplier interactions.  

So, how do we, as leaders, successfully connect with our teams and keep them informed about our business activities through clear and purposeful communication? 

In our post-pandemic world, with so many people still working from home, it is crucial that all businesses understand how to effectively manage employee communication. Although every workplace has its unique challenges, there are important factors to consider that will help you improve communication with your team members. 

 An Informed Employee is an Engaged Employee 

When a team member understands what is going on, what is expected of them, and why, they become more:  

  • Closely involved with business updates 
  • Dedicated 
  • Loyal 
  • Productive 
  • Closely aligned with the overall strategy.  

Informed employees better understand their role within the business and are more able to execute their assigned tasks because they have access to the information they need, no matter where they are. 

Challenges to Workplace Communication 

There are many challenges to the creation and maintenance of effective written and verbal communication.  

These include:  

  • Inconsistency in communication  
  • Reliance on technology (no face-to-face communication) 
  • Assuming the audience understands the jargon 
  • Not listening to your team 
  • Not making communication a leadership function 

Consider your business – how do these five factors play out in your work environment? 

Don’t Assume that Everyone is Skillful in Communication 

Assuming that everyone in your workplace can communicate effectively is a damaging notion.  

Some leaders lack the capability to communicate well and are unable to help others express themselves. On the flipside, employees may feel awkward when they are asked to express opinions, especially in front of more senior staff. Also, some leaders simply may not have the skills to sensitively facilitate staff involvement. 

Communication Channels 

While all communication channels have their merits, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.  

You will need to consider the challenges of your particular business environment and explore what works best. It may take some trial and error – so be open to feedback and review what is, and isn’t, working, then make any necessary adjustments.   

Success in communication comes from knowing how to pass on different types of information to the members of your team. 

  • Reduce the number of communication channels: Making information available in one place (if possible) makes the process more manageable for everyone. The more places your team must look, the more frustrating it can be, and the more likely they are to miss something.  
  • Consider who you are talking to and the outcome you need to achieve: If you are communicating a quick update that is relevant to everyone, a mass email or intranet post may be fine. If you are announcing a major change, you may need to use a more targeted, hands-on approach.

Again, determining what best suits the needs of your business, staff, and relevant timeframes will help you work out the most effective way to share all necessary information with your team. 

Building Connection – Team Meetings 

Every business has its own team rhythm and ways of working. A well-organised plan of daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual meetings helps to keep everyone aligned and accountable. 

  • Annual Planning Meeting (Owner and Senior Leaders): The purpose of the annual planning meeting is to align the team’s priorities for the year ahead to move the business closer to achieving their 3-5-year plan. 
  • Quarterly Meeting (Leaders): This is to determine how you will accomplish the annual plan and move the business forward. Generally held as a one-day meeting, the goal is to set up a road map for the next quarter that supports, focuses and motivates the team.  
  • Monthly Meeting (Leaders): A well-managed monthly management meeting should focus on learning, sharing and problem-solving. This provides a great opportunity to share the load and develop your upcoming business leaders in line with your succession plan. 
  • Weekly Meeting (Team): The weekly meeting keeps your team focused and accountable in execution of the priorities set out in your quarterly plan. 
  • Daily Huddle (Everyone): The daily huddle is a 5–15 minute catch up! This enables your entire team to be informed and aligned on the work that needs to be done. 

Communication through Difficult Conversations 

Difficult conversations are a normal part of life and need to be addressed in an open and constructive way. 

Many people put off uncomfortable conversations in the hope that the problem either fixes itself or disappears. This approach can have a damaging effect, particularly regarding how employees feel within their workplace. People want to feel heard, especially when they face uncertain circumstances such as created by the recent Covid-19 pandemic. Many employees have felt unsure about the direction of their workplace and worried about whether their roles will continue to exist. 

Preparation is the Key for Leaders and Managers 

Go into the meeting with a very clear understanding of the problem you are trying to solve. Before starting a difficult conversation, ask yourself these questions: 

  • Am I prepared? 
  • What information do I need from the employee? 
  • How do I think the employee will react?  
  • Do I have a clear understanding of the problem and outcome I want to achieve from this conversation?  
  • What solutions can I propose to resolve the matter?  
  • What would I like the employee to feel and do? 

Taking the time to prepare fully for your meeting will help you define any underlying issues and ensure your communication is clear and concise. 

It’s important to have the right communication mechanisms in place to build relationships and impart knowledge of common goals, listen and engage with team members, and to manage any issues and emerging risks. Poorly executed communication can cause employees to endure an unsatisfactory work experience, leading to a whole host of problems with morale, productivity and, in some cases, customer satisfaction. By focusing on providing the best possible communication to employees, you will ensure your team stays well informed with everything they need to perform their jobs at the highest level.  

Do you have the necessary communication strategies in place to drive and maintain team accountability and performance? Grab a copy of the checklist on ‘Team Communication’ in my HR Resources library here.

 

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